Mic Kaczmarczik's Signature Models Information

Signature Models


Guitars

Signature Models

This directory contains USENET articles Mic has saved about guitars, equipment, pickup, techniques, players, and so on. Mic has graciously granted permission to post the stuff on the JT30 page on the off chance that it might be useful in the context of Blues Harmonica. Mic is not responsible for the content, just the collection.

Guitars

Signature Models
From slehma--(at)--armony-central.com Mon Aug 18 22:41:11 CDT 1997
Article: 189378 of alt.guitar
From: slehma--(at)--armony-central.com (Scott Lehman)
Newsgroups: alt.guitar,rec.music.makers.guitar
Subject: New Signature Guitars (Humor)
Date: Mon, 18 Aug 1997 18:39:40 -0700
Organization: Harmony Central
Lines: 88
Message-ID:
NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.66.83.19
Xref: geraldo.cc.utexas.edu alt.guitar:189378 rec.music.makers.guitar:155051


Here's a bunch of spoof signature guitars. This is actually the result of
other people's creativity and not my own, but I found them fairly amusing
so I compiled them into this listing. I don't think too many people will
find this offensive, so if you have an open mind, enjoy ...


Scott


Janet Reno Strat - so damn ugly everyone's afraid to play it.


Eddie Murphy Les Paul - changes from a LP to a strat in the middle of a gig.


O.J. Simpson Strat - comes with a leather case it won't quite fit into.


Gerald Ford Tele - keeps falling off the stand.


Pamela Lee Strat - really big knobs.


Pee Wee Herman LP - plays itself.


Ross Perot Tele - changes tuning in the middle of a song. Goes back into
tune on the next song.


Oprah Winfrey Acoustic - gets smaller and smaller but eventually goes back
to dreadnought.


Richard Nixon Strat - All recordings of it mysteriously lose 10 minutes of
material


Bill Gates Tele - Official release in 6 months.


Bill Clinton strat: It smokes, but don't inhale!


Liz Taylor strat...you couldn't afford it if you wanted it.


Continental Airlines Strat - shows up at the wrong gig


The "Lizzie Borden" SG. It's a killer axe.


Tutankhamon Tele-- swaddled in its strap and left in its case for 3,000 yrs.


The "Go Ugly Early" BC Rich...The closer to 2AM it is, the better it looks...


The Courtney Love Jag-Stang - Only popular 'cause it was fingered by Kurt
Cobain


John the Baptist model-- waterlogged and missing its headstock


Howard Stern model - sounds like shit but you just can't put it down


Rush Limbaugh model - only plays the songs it wants to because the others
are stupid


Kurt Cobain Steinberger guitar-headless model


The Gibson RuPaul with optional whammy bar


Al Gore LP -- body is solid mahogany


Demi More Strat--Only has a "G" string.


Rosanne strat...weighs a ton and has awful tone... especially when doing
the Star Bangled Banner.


Hendrix Strat - Strung backwards and turned upside down for righties!
Reverse Logo too!


George Bush LP - For those who promised their spouse : "No new axes"


Bill Clinton Strat - Sounds like a strat, but really is an LP ... You die
in a plane crash if you try to reveal the truth.


Ronald Reagan LP - You can never pay it off.


Jacques Cousteau signature model reviewed ... Trem great for dives, but
heavy strings can cause painful bends. Sounds okay w/o reverb or other
effects, but best suited for playing wet, whether new wave, surf or
calypso-- if you don't mind the generally nasal tone. 4 octave range,
>from Low C to High C. Made of Basswood, aqua finish with abalone inlays
and mother of pearl pickguard (who needs toilet seats out here?). This is
a true "Captain's Log", so expect to shell out a lot of clams for this
baby.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Scott Lehman slehma--(at)--armony-central.com |
| Harmony Central Musicians Resource - http://www.harmony-central.com/ |
| "We didn't want a victory, we just wanted to fight" - New Model Army |
------------------------------------------------------------------------





 

Index:

Albert Collins Tuning
Albert Video
Aluminum Shielding
Beatles Guitars
Best Guitar Cords
Big Muffs reviewed
Bigsby for a Les Paul
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BPM Music Express
Buddy Guy Bassman Settings
Calculate Treble Bypass Resistor
Calculate Treble
Case supplier
CE 22 Review
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Correct Pot Value
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Daddy O Review
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ES 335 Pro
Feiten Intonation Offsets
Fender Clapton ckt
Fender Custom Shop
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Fit HB in P90 hole
Folk web site
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Fralins vs Antiquity HBs
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G L Legacy Pickups
Gatton article
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Gibson 70s LPs
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Gibson Phone No
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guitar
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Heritage Contact
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Heritage H 555 Review
Hot Rod Lincoln lick
How Nashville Works
How To Mount Mini Humbuckers
Hum Cancelling Pickups
Humbucker Wiring Codes
Humbuckers like P90s
Its In The Hands
Jazz Guitar page
Jazzmasters
JD Telecaster Wiring
Kinman pickups
Les Paul prices 1975
Les Paul Video
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LSR nut dissent
Make Your Own Pickups
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Mexi vs American Strats
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Mono cord w ES 345
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Pearl Inlay I
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Pickup Wiring By Mfr
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PRS Soapbar Review
PRS Swamp Ash Special
Rewiring summary
Rick O Sound
Safe Guitar Stands
Shielding FAQ
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Shielding=Capacitance
Signature Models
Slider Straps
Strat 54 reissues
Strat blend pot
Strat Plus body wood
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Suhr and Knopfler
Suhr Guitars Trip
Suhr On TX Specials
Suhr Tele Review
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TBX circuit
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Tex Mex Strat
Top 41 Excuses
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vs100 review
vs100 update
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Zappa on Guitar

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